Blessed Mama

Waiting. Don't you love that word. I feel like most of my life I have been waiting on something...waiting to graduate high school, waiting to be on my own, waiting for a job interview, waiting for when I would get married, waiting to have children, waiting on my husband to come home, waiting on the navy, waiting on orders, waiting on a new house, waiting on new friends and even that one devastating time that I was waiting to see how long I would carry my baby. Waiting. Do you know that patience means waiting with joy. Patience. We will all wait, that's inevitable but thle patience part that's the good. Joy that's the key. So it's not if but when we wait and how we do it. Some days my waiting feels ooverwhelming and other days if I can reign in my feelings I am able to wait with patience. With joy. But also decide to let trust and hope come before the wait. Should I be waiting. And I know that waiting should not lead or dictate how I spend my days. Waiting pauses my life and I know God does not want my life paused because each breathe that we take is for a purpose.

I say this because we are waiting. We are waiting for God to grow our family because that's normal at our age. People at our age are growing their family while we are young and able. It's normal at this season and stage of life to want that and strongly desire it. We also have a clear call from God to open our home to children that aren't born from my womb. Two years now. We answered that call and began the process almost 8 months ago. The process was only supposed to take a couple of months to become a foster family. However our agency, and I know they have good reason, but it hasn't happened that fast. We are at the end of the pro was and basically just need signatures. We find ourselves a little frustrated because we so desire to do what God has called us to and we know there are children around us that need us to step up for them but we have our ha da tied and it's a helpless feeling.

But the Lord has a promise in his word. "He will place the barren woman in the house as a joyful mother of children." I, in no way, am claiming to be barren. I have had two natural pregnancies that I praise the Lord for. But it's the desire that there are more children that I know God wants me to care for, disciple, lead, sharpen and support and I have realized that they aren't just children from my womb. Some of them are children that He has written their names on the palm of His hands and He calls me to have a part in their walk to Him and with Him. So in the waiting...or lack of. We sponsored a little boy through World Vision. He is the exact same age as Walker...they have the same birthdate. Born the same day. The same time that Walker came into this world so did our precious Ezekia. God had given me the name Ezekiel about a week before. Ok so yea it all started because of Ezekiel Elliot that plays for the Dallas Cowboys but stay with me here. I could not get that name out of my mind. I somewhat surrendered and said "ok God if this is You telling me to name my next baby this (because I'm determined I'm having all boys) then I will." I mean I never imagined naming my child Isaiah and now I LOVE that name. I mean I tear up every time Carrie Underwood says her baby's name (Isaiah). But anyway so I started reading in Ezekial and came to the part with the bones. How God told Ezekial  to prophesy to them and he did and the bones came to life. Reminder, God can do anything, God is always in the dead-raising business (Jesus, deadness of a womb, deadness of a diagnosis- found out this week that someone who had stage 4 cancer is in remission! Praise the Lord! God y'all!), reminder that He always has the last word and is always working while keeping His eye fixed on the one who loves Him. Breathe o breathe of God. So then I just started saying ok, my "Ezekial baby." Instead of a rainbow baby (what people say about a baby born after a miscarriage) but mine was gonna be called an Ezekial baby. So one day Walker and I searched World visions website for a little boy who had his birthday and you can imagine the way my heart jumped when I saw his little name next to his sweet face "Ezekia" I know we are missing the "l" but still...he was meant to be ours. My Ezekiel baby. Someone probably told  him and his Mama that day that he was now sponsored and y'all! He's my Ezekiel baby. Our measley American money that we will give each month to support him is gonna bless his family tremendously! That little boy and his family. Not only that but they probably told him  "Ezekia, you have a new friend named Walker and he sent you an email with a picture of him with his pet caterpillar and he is telling you that you are his new friend and he wants to know what your favorite color is and do you like to play outside like he does!" joyful mother of children. I am joyful and I know Ezekia's mom is also. God is teaching me something I should know but there are children everywhere. Everywhere. And I have 2 hands, 2 feet, 2 eyes, 2 ears and a mouth (thankfully only one of those) but if I will seek Him (He gave me Jeremiah 33 in my 33rd year of life!) but if I will call on Him then He will show me great and mighty things that I do not know! So there was a need for some help in our middle school ministry. I love that age. I have served them before. My heart is to be there for them at such a pivotal age and honestly a hard age. To come along side them right where they are and lead them to their loving  Father and His love and truth for them! So I stepped in and y'all I love it and them! It fuels me each week to sit before them and speak truth to their hearts and listen and love on them. I'm blessed and I look at them as my little spiritual children (probably the only girls I will have!). So although none of these new "children" of mine live in my home, God still called me to step up and step beside them on their journey to Him and with Him to be an extension of His love towards them and that y'all is a Blessed Mama!

Love,
Candace