Good Friday. Growing up I remember asking "why in the world do we call it good friday when clearly it was not...good." Reminds me of my life lately. How in the world I can say God is still good. Honestly, I have no idea. I'm thankful for God's grace and strength in me to remember He is good...very words that almost make grieving parents angry. I remember so clearly while I was waiting to miscarry and a friend coming to visit me, to bring me dinner and to pray for me. Her mom had a miscarriage before and she asked her what she could/should say/encourage me and her mom said "just tell her to remember that God is good" those words just really stuck. Like, I will never forget her sitting there and looking me in the eye and telling me that. In the past 6 months I have held on to that truth just as tightly as I could. His thoughts are higher and His ways are not my ways. All I know is God is my Father and I have to trust Him even when I don't understand and things are not good, as a matter of fact, they are awful. I hope everyone that reads my blog does not see Candace's strength. Yall don't see me in the moments of questioning and in the moments of grief. I pray that every ounce of strength that you see here, you see how strong our God is.
"The Lord was pleased to crush Him" Isaiah 53:10. My husband said this as we held our sweet Isaiah. How in the world. He sent His own Son to crush Him for us. I would never willingly give either of my babies for a bunch of sinners. never. What love. Marvelous love. Good friday. I have learned since I was that little, innocent girl asking that question of just how good it was. For me, mainly. God watched His Son die and it was good for me. Matter of fact, it was the best thing that ever could have happened to me. It was good that He died for this sinner. Good that he conquered death and rose so that I didn't have to spend eternity away from Him and now I see how good it was because now death is not the end of my sweet Isaiah (or me) and I get to spend eternity with him. That is good, my friends. I have preached the gospel to Walker so much this week. Pretty much every chance that we have had. Not bragging, y'all, I'm just jealous for my living child to know his savior. I'm waiting almost impatiently for him to say "oh, I get it!" like he does so often when things finally make sense to him. There was a moment this week when he was sent to his room because he deliberately disobeyed. When I went to talk to him I told him that the bible tells us that when we know what to do and do not do it, God calls that sin and that's why Jesus had to die and my child gasped...gasped...mouth open wide and then the biggest puppy dog face that you have ever seen and then I was able to tell him that he could ask God to forgive him and such peace came over him. Oh Jesus, that sin would break him like that. That it would break me like that. Gasping. God is good. I'm a grieving mother and I can say it. People don't understand why and neither do I but my goodness just look at good friday. and then it gets even better on Sunday. Life happens. He is good. I asked Him to be with me in every stage of my grief because I wanted to be a healthy mother to my baby here and my baby in heaven and the other day I was overwhelmed by how far He has brought me in just 6 short months and yall He has never left my side. Through shock in the delivery room, denial that this can't be happening, sadness--still happens on random days at random times to acceptance. In every one of those He has been so good.
So smile, y'all, and take a new grip with your weary hands because nail's peierced his...It's Good Friday!
Here is what has been happening around here:
Preaching the gospel with playdoh
Jesus and his big ole heart of Love! I love how Walker's storybook Bible says it "it wasn't the nails that held Jesus there, it was Love."
our guards guarding the tomb
the angel came to roll the stone away. I wish I would have snapped a picture of Walker's favorite part...making the guards fall on their faces!
As we are getting settled in:
these boys are looking for the nearest fishing hole!
This good friday my hubby let me sleep in, brought me coffee, breakfast and my bible to bed and spoke sexy to me when he said "do you want to go get some flowers today to plant?" Why yes, yes I do!
so my guys planted me some flowers. Couldn't have done it without Walker's digger making a big ole mess helping Dad.
then he got distracted by the earthworms.
I should have done a before picture but imagine these flower beds with nothing in them and I mean nothing. It was so drab (is that a word?) so needless to say, this is a really good start to adding life to our front yard!
Hope you all have a great weekend!
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