Psalm 23

Psalm 23 

The LORD is my shepherd, 

I shall not want.

He makes me to lie down in green pastures; 

He leads me beside quiet waters.

He restores my soul;

He guides me in the paths of righteousness

For His name sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I fear no evil, for You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You have annointed my head with oil;

My cup overflows. 

Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,

And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

We had a guest pastor at church one Sunday when we lived in San Diego. I sat 10 weeks pregnant with our second baby boy. The pastor said to open your bible to the 23rd Psalm. He then told us to close our eyes as he read it over us and to pray that God would speak to our heart exactly what He had to say and that we would hold on to particular part of that verse in the coming week. For me that ended up being much longer. I prayed for that and on my heart was laid "Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. First, I thought, Lord am I about to die? lol. My fear of death was super real then. I just couldn't get past it. But deep in my heart I knew it wasn't that. We got home from church and I wrote it on the dry erase board on the refrigerator: 

"Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."

Everyday I said it to myself. Every single time that I walked by that refrigerator. I thanked God for being faithful in our lives; turning a sinner like me into a beloved Child of God, in my marriage, in my parenting, in our finances and in our callings. Surely. Surely. It was a sure thing. He is faithful. Always has been and forever will be. Then a few weeks later we walked through the shadow of death. As Beth Moore says "the shadowiest of shadow of death" and there the 23rd Psalm came back to me. The whole Psalm suddenly made sense. The end was the best part. The end of the Psalm and the end of this earth. The house of the LORD suddenly became something that I longed to be in. Then I knew it is sure. He is sure. His goodness and lovingkindness, it's a sure thing and it chases me and pursues me and never lets me go. It's so easy during the hard. the messy. the unplanned and the crushing of heart situations to be tempted to think and even believe that He is not good. But that is the very place where we get the oxygen we need to breathe. He wanted me to remember that He is good. Always good. No matter what good. Even in the shadow of death, He's with me, when I'm sitting in a funeral home making arrangement for my baby, He is with me. His rod and His staff comfort me. He's good if for no other reason that He allows this woman to dwell in His house forever. Dining with Him while holding my precious baby. Forever. And ever.

I sat today, again, this time under Beth Moore's teaching and she said the same thing "close your eyes while I read Psalm 23 over you" I knew God ordained that for that very moment. Again, for me to hear those sweet words. No truer words ever spoken. And I can say, He is and always will be my shepherd and need nothing else. Nothing else comes close. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside quiet waters or as my bible says in the margins "waters of rest" and it feels good. He restores my soul and guides me in paths of righteousness. Grief is hard. HARD. H.A.R.D. and I mean hard to navigate while holding on to God's goodness but He leads me. Never do I want to grieve with out Him which leads me on in the Psalm. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...You are with me. With. Surrounding. me. Comforting me. I'm anointed. His word is my feast. My cup is overflowing. And it's sure. so sure. that his goodness, grace, lovingkindness, mercy will chase me down all the days of my life and I will dwell in house forever!

"The LORD of hosts will prepare a lavish banquet for all peoples on this mountain;

A banquet of aged wine, choice pieces with marrow, 

And refined, aged wine.

And on this mountain He will swallow up the covering which is over all peoples,

Even the veil which is stretched over all nations. 

He will swallow up death for all time,

And the LORD GOD will wipe tears away from all faces,

And He will remove the reproach of His people from all the earth;

For the LORD has spoken.

And it will be said in that day,

"Behold, this is our God for whom we have waited that He might save us.

This is the LORD for whom we have waited;

Let us rejoice and be glad in His salvation.""

Isaiah 25:6-8