Moving Forward

This is an announcement of sorts and also a plea for your prayers.

For about 2 years now we have had the thought of adoption on our hearts. I say thought because that is what it has been. It has just been a thought because we have not been in a season where it could be possible for us to move forward. We considered adoption when I started struggling to get pregnant with baby #2 (which now has a name, Isaiah). We weren't in the right "season" to move forward because my husband was leaving for NAVY bootcamp and then we found ourselves in California on temporary duty. In California (a few months before I found out I was pregnant) the thought became so big that I could not stop thinking about it. So with no way to move forward I decided to talk to friends who have adopted and also check out some informative books from the library, while still praying through with the questions/concerns/etc. Also, my increase in talking about this lead to an interesting conversation between my husband and I...

I said something about adoption very nonchalantly and my husband said "Well, I need to tell you something" I was like oh, ok what is it? He said well I wasn't going to tell you because I was seeing how it all played out but the past few weeks you have been mentioning your desire to adopt. He went on to tell me that he was feeling like we should adopt back when he finished the first part of his schooling...(at this point I could feel my insides start bubbling and both of our eyes were filling up with tears) also remember that we were living half across the country from each other...so he told me that he set a reminder in his phone to pray about it everyday at that certain time. He had no major revelations during that time but still just opening his heart to God and feeling like that was definately something in our future just not sure when.


Back in the fall while he was still away in training I was talking to a sweet friend of mine. Her and her husband were in the process of adopting and I was able to share in the joy of her finding out when they were matched with their child! Her and I had a conversation one day and I told her that adoption wasn't out of the cards for us...we just have no idea when it would be and she told me that when it's time that we would know! God lets you know!

As I read through my checked out book from the library, the author talked about fostering to adopt and fostering in general. One of my "nevers"in life was becoming a foster parent. I cannot give all my love to a child and then have to watch them leave. But all of a sudden this felt like something we were supposed to do. When I mentioned it to my husband he felt the exact same way but to he had no idea how our hearts were going to take it. This suddenly felt like not only an option but a calling. I started reading more about it and following some foster mama's blogs (to get some real life info). We knew it still wasn't time to move forward since we were still in Cali and had no idea what the future held. You can imagine our shock when we found out we were finally pregnant with Isaiah and moving to Japan. How in the world was Japan going to allow us to foster! After Isaiah died, I flat out told God no on the fostering thing. I just had my very own blood child and had to watch his little physical life go, there is no way! Thank you, Jesus for grace. After a few months, I started feeling the gentle push again and I (insert eye roll) said ok I know I can do it. Actually more empowered than ever because now I'm not just for life I'm STANDING for life! I am more fired up than ever before about women choosing life and giving all that I am for that. To open my arms wide and embrace every child that God would trust me with either from my own body or some else's. That I can love until I break and then He will fill me up with more love to give. I can trust that His love never runs out and His love will empower me and my husband to move forward and if He chooses to grow our family in that process...then bring it on!

This song says it all...If I was able to give Isaiah all of me and all of my heart and all of my love even though I knew that he was going to be taken from me then I know I can do this. Love hurts sometimes but Love covers and Love endures and Love...it never gives up!

So this happened a little faster than we thought it would. We are just getting settled, still grieving and I start researching about fostering to adopt in Virginia. I called and they informed me that 5 mandatory training classes are coming up...2 are twice a week and then 3 are 3 Saturdays in a row. A miracle of miracles happened when my husband was not on duty for any of those days! (we both HAVE to be present for every training class) If you are a military wife then you completely understand how crazy that is! So he basically said, "Candace, we have got to do this now!" Also, my friend from Cali that used to live here gave me her awesome babysitters number, so bam!, Walker was taken care of. We met her and we love her.

So would you please be praying for us. We are saying that "we are just taking the next step that God has called us to." I have no idea what this looks like or how in the world God's gonna make this happen. We are trusting and being faithful to take the next step.