Snow and Grace

I remember one night laying on Walker's floor while waiting for him to go to sleep and just praying. I don't even remember what I was praying about but I'm sure it was for Grace. More than likely grace to cover how I royally messed up parenting and mothering that day. I don't remember. What I do remember is asking God to let it-Grace- pour down like rain. Steady. Saturating. drenching. Then He said no I will let it fall like snow so that it sticks. So that it accumulates. So that it piles up and never stops so that you have to shovel it and you have plenty to give out to everyone else. His grace is always abundant. Always sufficient. Always more than enough. It always beats me to the throne when I go begging for a "do over." Just another chance. Grace is already waiting at the throne ready to embrace. Ready to renew.

Right now we are weighing a decision. A decision that we can't even bear the weight of. A decision that would be life changing and life altering for each of us. My husband comes home with more facts and more info. He dumped it on and then he left for work. Not a bad thing. Just not good for an anxious heart like mine. I immediately make a plan. My plan. I work to make sure that plan comes to pass and then I become discouraged. Then I become anxious. Then doubtful. Then depressed and on the verge of tears. Then I hear Him. He asks "could you consider Me?" what happened to that t-word "trust." Don't I remember how God makes a way. How he provides. How he works it all out more than I could have imagined. I fix my cappuccino. I want someone to talk to but there is no one. I can't tell many people about this decision. God reminds me He is always near. I can always talk to Him. I decide to let it go. Stop thinking about it and just trust. I remind my anxious heart that God will take care of us. God will work it out. If it's His will then it's His way. He has it in His hands. Then I sit down, with a blanket, and my hot cappuccino as I put on my favorite show. Suddenly, I notice. Snow is falling. Grace is falling. White. Pure. Steady. Accumulating. Beautiful. My heart wants to explode. His grace is here and its more than enough. It's enough to cover us. Enough to sustain us. Enough to steady us. Enough to provide for us. Enough for us to breathe in. Forever. Always. It just piles up and there is enough to give away.

breathing in grace,
Candace