Be Fruitful and Multiply

So one of my sweet friends put something on her facebook today and it totally triggered something that I have been wanting to write about for a long time. I hesitated because sometimes I lack confidence but with no good reason because what I want to say is something that the Lord spoke directly to my heart. 

I know that I have briefly touched on the subject of getting pregnant and that for me it is not easy. That my body is very "abnormal" (for lack of a better word to use without disgusting you) and that I totally sit here raising a miracle baby. And when I say that, I just mean that it was against the norm that I got pregnant all on my own with no fertility help; ALL babies are miracles and a product of God's immense wisdom and incomprehensible knowledge! So with that said, I almost daily struggle with the questions as I am sure a lot of other mom's or hope-to-be-moms struggle with: "Why me", "What's wrong with me?" (because no doctor has been able to answer this question for me), "Why does _______ get to have as many children as she wants but I don't". My husband and I have committed to train our child(ren) up in "the way they should go" and to be godly parents that seek God's wisdom to do it.

So why us? 

One day as I looked at ANOTHER negative pregnancy test, I was driving down the road and I literally (audibly) asked God this question..."why can't we get pregnant?...i just do not understand." God very quickly pricked my heart with this scripture-

"God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God BLESSED THEM; AND SAID TO THEM, BE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY, AND FILL THE EARTH, AND SUBDUE IT..."    (Gen. 1:27-28)

God quickly reminded me that in the beginning He did not intend for my womb to be unfruitful; My womb was unfruitful because my body is under the curse of sin and death because of just 2 chapters later when the serpent entered and the "male" and "female" chose to sin against God and the curse was pronounced in Gen. 3:14-19. Even though as a christ follower I have God's spirit in me so that when I die my body of sin will be done away with and He will give me life! (Romans 8) As I live though on this earth I am under the "curse." My womb is under the curse. Everything about my physical body is under the curse and God NEVER intended it to be this way. I mean the first thing that the Bible says that God did after He created the male and female was bless the womb! I know this doesn't answer every question that we all have and that is why we have to also remember what Romans 9:20 says, "Who are you, o man, who answers back to God? the thing molded will not say to the moulder, "Why did you make me like this", will it?" In my heart I have to daily remember that God is good and He never intended for us to have all this pain that we have in life...He really didn't and I firmly believe that! and I have to remember that I really don't have to know all the answers and I WONT because He is God, my creator and I am a mortal human. One day, it will not be like it is now. One day there will be no disease and no tears. One day everything will be new because He is making all things new and for me I'm ok with that. I remember that more than not being able to easily get pregnant and have a life of pleasure and comfort all the time is the fact that I used to be a very lost soul and He called me and chose me to be His, His special possession and not only that but to join Him in His kingdom purposes and for that I am eternally grateful and if He gives me NOTHING else then that is going to be enough! Really, it is!

So sweet woman or mama hold your head up and remember that God is good...Always good! And He always welcomes our questions...so ask Him and if you have anything to add that He has spoken to your heart please do leave a comment!

Whew I do feel relieved. This post has been on my heart for a while now and I really hope that it will encourage another woman like it encouraged me!

With love,

Candace